Hey, you. Yes, you. You’re reading this site, so you’re a gamer, right? That means you’re a spotty socially deprived teenager who spends 25 hours a day in a basement playing ‘World of Warcraft’ as part of training to be a killer, and have no idea what ‘sunlight’ is.
That is, of course, complete and utter bollocks, but thanks to the negative stigma video games have in the media, if you say you that you are a gamer, don’t be surprised if that is the (exaggerated) image they conjure up of you.
This week has been dreadful for it. The crazed American attorney Jack Thompson continued his war on games by performing an astonishing feat: he criticised the educational ‘Buzz: The School Quiz’, a game based around testing children on Key Stage 2 knowledge. It seems that according to him, games can teach us when it comes to killing, but if something has an educational purpose? Oh no, we CAN’T have a game that gives off a positive impression! How DISGRACEFUL!
Edit: Amusingly enough, Thompson claims not to have said anything that was attributed to him, and so the quotes appear to be a fabrication from the newspapers printing them.
Whilst high up on the stupidity scale, we’ve also had a terrible bit of lying and ignorance from the political columnist Kevin McCullough, questioning the candidates for the US election about their thoughts on a game which “allows its players – universally male no doubt – to engage in the most realistic sex acts ever conceived.” The name of this game? Mass Effect.
Hold on a second. Mass Effect. Unless my memory has gone down from ‘bad’ to ‘dreadful’, that’s the action role playing game set in space, not Virtual Humpathon 3000.
Well, I’m pretty sure I’m the one in the know here, as soon after McCullough engages in what can only be described as, and please excuse my language, unequivocal bullshit. Throwing out random technical terms in an attempt to sound knowledgeable, “the software for such allows the blending of DVD video, component graphics, and the manipulation of actual pictures so that an alternate reality engulfs the fifteen year old boy playing it without much objection.”
The author describes an evil game based around customisable sex simulation, which “can be customized to sodomize whatever, whoever, however, the game player wishes.”
This is flat out wrong.
To explain, Mass Effect does contain a sex scene. However, context is key. The game is based around choices you make, some in conversation. If over the entire game, lasting at least 10 hours, your character and another have become good friends based on what you’ve chosen, there is a scene no longer than one minute of non-interactive, consensual sex between the two characters, who have developed a relationship over their time together.
That is not a situation where one can simply “custom design the shape, form, bodies, race, hair style, breast size of the images they wish to “engage” and then watch in crystal clear, LCD, 54 inch screen, HD clarity as the video game “persons” hump in every form, format, multiple, gender-oriented possibility they can think of.”
Also important is the scene itself. The game is rated 12 by the BBFC, but how can this be, as the game allows you “to engage in the most realistic sex acts ever conceived”?! This surely calls for outrage – somebody, get me the number of the moral police!
Before everybody goes Daily Mail on the BBFC, let’s look at the classification information they’ve made available.
MASS EFFECT is a role playing game and shooter set in the future in space. The player controls either a male or female American soldier through a long and involved story line, making choices along the way. The game has been classified at ‘12′ for moderate violence and one sex scene.
The violence is undetailed and takes place in a futuristic setting. The single sex scene is brief and undetailed, although there is breast nudity in one version of the scene. The sex scene is triggered by the player making a series of choices about becoming more than friends with a colleague. If playing as a male character the scene can take place between him and a human woman or a humanoid female alien. If playing as a female character the scene can take place between her and a male human or a female humanoid alien.
The game also contains use of the word ‘bastard’ and at least one aggressive use of the word ‘bitch’. Both of which are acceptable under BBFC Guidelines at ‘12′.
If you’re still not convinced, check YouTube. Maybe not at work, but as one commenter there said, you’ll see more flesh in ‘Romeo and Juliet’, a film shown to many high school classes.
Obviously, when this article was published, it got a fair bit of attention. It’s no wonder: the article totally misrepresents the game, and is full of factual inaccuracies and blatant lies. It led to a comic from Penny Arcade, and a response piece from the original author making fun of ‘gamer-nerds’ who were obviously unhappy with the rubbish spewed out of Kevin’s mouth.
Part of me doesn’t want to publish this article, as the man seems to be nothing but a raving idiot, and doesn’t deserve attention. However, the majority of our readers are British, and so the chance I’m giving him a few more listeners to his talk-show is extremely low. That’s part of the reason why I haven’t actually linked to the article: if you really care to see the original full length article, you’re just a Google away, but there’ll be no curiosity clicks here. What I will do is link to Gabe and Tycho’s comments on the situation, and what they suggest we do.
So, what about Mass Effect and “it’s “over the net” capabilities virtual orgasmic rape is just the push of a button away”?
What a crock of shite.
One Comment Comment RSS
I read your blog in a regular manner and just love it
hope there will be more postings from you, keep on going
greetz, carmella
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