Review – So Blonde (PC)

Sunny is a ditzy blonde, forced to leave her credit card, cell phone and daily manicures behind when she washes up on a mysterious island.

Her fish-out-of-water shtick dries up long before she stops asking grizzling pirates for ATM machines and lambasting them on their poor cell phone reception; Sunny’s girlish shrieks will grate and her constant references to her father’s indulgence will ensure liking her is a constant struggle.

This exaggerated stereotype has a well-intended purpose though, creating a polar opposite to Sunny’s eventual metamorphism into a responsible and selfless saint. Unfortunately, this classic self-help fairytale comes off as predictable and forced. Sunny’s character is often hard to read; she spends half the game holding on to hope that a team of makeup artists and a hot bubble bath will appear from the bushes, but is quick to believe in the supernatural magic that governs the island.

Still, the relatively small cast of characters create strong relationships with both Sunny and the player, right to the game’s disappointing climax. The text, penned by Steve Ince, is dependable, yet joyless; the straight faced sincerity worked well in Ince’s claim to fame, Broken Sword, and the few moments of comic relief were a welcome change when they appeared. In So Blonde however, a more comical and theatrical production, most jokes fall flat. The constant barrage of pop-culture references also exasperate.

So Blonde is a point and click adventure; as traditional as they come, Blonde is a fluttering heart beat in the genre’s restless sleep. Despite a 21st century player’s ease to grab hints, tips and fully-fledged walkthroughs, this adventure does little, outside of circumventing pixel hunts with labelled hot-spots, to deter the call of GameFAQs.

Other recent adventures, such as Secret Files: Tunguska, limited the player’s movements and interactions, measuring the possible moves in tiny units and meaning the player will often stumble upon the solution before they tire. Conversely, So Blonde plays entirely on one island, so with box-quote 55 locations to search and investigate, players will undoubtedly feel overwhelmed when shopping lists of items are requested.

Plus, some puzzles are downright illogical; throwing a featherweight cork will apparently shift a cannonball in So Blonde’s bizarre take on physics. French developer Wizarbox also replaces some puzzles with retro inspired mini-games, but they are entirely optional if you purchased So Blonde to test your brain, not your reflexes.

So Blonde features a multitude of technical issues; a fixed handful of resolutions will leave borders on large monitors, irremovable subtitles are not to everyone’s tastes and the 3D rendered characters are a jarring juxtaposition to the beautiful backdrop illustrations.

While point and click adventures aren’t released every week, So Blonde should be left to the most devout fans of the genre. The game features an enticing premise, presented upon a gorgeous stage, but the story’s predictability, the disappointing writing and the archaic design mean that this mysterious island adventure should be left uncharted.