Public Service Announcement

The following is an urgent notification to anybody who may be involved with the mainstream media and coverage of gaming throughout the next few weeks, by contribution or by reading to it. Failure to recognise the importance of the following information could lead to heart attack due to shock about how somebody could possible be such a nob.

With the year closing, ‘reflections on 2008′ and ‘predictions for 2009′ articles are inevitable, and personalities from the gaming industry may be called upon for their comments on what made the year what it was, and where things are going. However, any comments made by Jonathan ‘Fatal1ty’ Wendel should be ignored and disregarded at all costs as he is a egotistical tosswank who should never be asked anything ever, and that’s not just because he’s got a ridiculous nickname or a stupidly smug face that is just begging to hit with a spade. Multiple times. On fire.

The reasons for this become obvious when looking at this recent BBC News article. They’ve improved their coverage of gaming a lot recently, there was a very interesting article on Guildford based developers Lionhead and Media Molecule. However, all of that was thrown away when they decided titmongrel Wendel should be included on a panel giving comments on 2008 in gaming. Whilst other participants talked about games made by other companies as well as their own, spanner-magnet decided to tell us that the first high point worth mentioning “was getting my new line of headphones”, and telling us that in 2009 we can look forward to him “going to continue working on a professional series of headphones. I want people to use my headphones, not just to talk smack, but to use them in the real world by making them stylish and attractive. We’re close to getting that finalised and then we can launch.”

Let us not forget, when TIME magazine compiled a list of the 100 most influential people, he misunderstood the concept of writing about Shigeru Miyamoto like he was supposed to, and instead wrote about himself, “In the past seven years I have won 12 major championships playing five different games.” That wasn’t the point.

The reason he’s asked for comment is probably to represent the ‘competitive gaming’ section, though that’s not exactly necessary as for one, he has nothing interesting to say, and for two, competitive gaming is on the decline here in the US and UK, with the World Series of Video Games shutting down and more recently, the league Wendel was himself involved with, the Championship Gaming Series, also closing its doors. Surely, instead of wasting space on a splintered, small section of the gaming population, there’s somebody out there with something in the least bit interesting or relevant to say?

So please, when reading articles about games, take precaution. You never know when this fatality of sense opens his trap.